you missed the GREATEST racing game ever made | Split/Second Review

The Thrilling World of Split Second Racing Game

Get in here! I’ve been slaving over this for hours. Happy Thanksgiving, pimps! Do you suck at racing games? Do you wish that you could hit the better racers with something more than a little love tap? Well, fellas, do I have an opportunity that will change your life.

‘Split Second’ is a racing game where even the worst racers can compensate for their lack of skill by dropping a nuclear reactor on everybody else in the race. Whereas most modern-day racing games go for realism, Split Second takes a different approach.

If I wanted to hydroplane in a Honda Accord like a dumbass, I’d shut off the console and go outside. What are you, autistic? Look up the quote if you don’t believe me. You think I’d lie to you?

But I agree with Santa because, after all, why the hell are we all here if not to get away from reality? And when you turn on Split Second, you’re going to a new reality – one with a piss filter, blue and orange Transformers color grading, a cameraman with cerebral palsy. It feels like the good old days because the pay-to-win DLC caps out at $5.

Mirage had $5 pay-to-win DLC. Damn! Guess the flat of the Rat was ahead of the curve on that one.

A reality focused entirely on drifting, allowing you commit acts of domestic terrorism before Disney hit a power play on their reputation and finances. This was their swan song, their last dance, their final fantasy – like a war but with a race going on. It’s almost like a race war.

This one’s for you, big pimp! Highway hypnosis is when drivers zone out due to the monotony of driving on a highway with no unique events or scenery to keep them engaged. This is why I get bored of most racing games by the third hour. I’ve played a lot of Forza, but this is fantasy right here. It’s like a windy mountain road – you’re always one moment away from your wife cashing in that power life insurance.

Watch the video for full details.